The Horizon vs The Boat
Superconscious speaks in metaphor. My mind thinks in metaphors, which I have only recognixed in the past few years as the voice of intuition.
Today I had an image come to me that echoed and evoked the abyss of desparation I’ve felt the past few years.
Me, on a boat, in the middle of the ocean and having no idea which way to paddle. So I may paddle for a few days, sure that, THISTIME, I’m heading the right direction.
Not just toward land, but a beautiful seaside town that’s been watching for my arrival, is certainlydefinitely to be found in THAT direction.
“Maybe I’m supposed to keep working with childbearing couples and build on that! Yes, I’m certain! THAT’S the right direction! Advertise! Send emails! Add classes to my calendar!”
It’s not long until the fatigue, the self-doubt, the learned helplessness all tumble into the boat with me. Suddenly the effort required to make progress is tripled. And my effort is halved, slowed by the certainty that I’m definitely headed AWAY from where I truly want to be.
“Maybe this isn’t correct after all. Maybe this is just safe because it’s known. Perhaps my burnout is a message that means it’s time to transition careers. Hmmm, I think I got it wrong.”
So I enthusiastically turn the boat around with renewed energy that I’ve FINALLY figured it out. THIS is assuredly the REAL right direction.
Until the Doubt whispers her refrain, “But what if it’s not…?”
Repeat this pattern, ad nauseum.
So now it’s been nearly 6 years of longing to be on a shore, any shore, but still as horizonless as when I first found myself in the boat.
Adrift is the word for it.
Despair is the feeling.
Self-Hatred is the result.
But! As often happens with intuitive pictures, there is more insight and direction available if you keep pulling the thread. You keep unpacking the message.
When SI speaks to you, and you’re left unsettled, keep going… Dig until the new insight, direction or relief comes through.
In the gift of this metaphor, I can see what to do differently.
The error is in the need to see a horizon. A base human need to have certainty and to be sure of where I’m headed has kept me scattered and treading the same square mile for so many years.
*talk about pain, uncertainty and constant work here***
What if I move my attention to the rowing, the effort? What if I let go of needing to see the end result, but instead focus on the next right action?
I hear your question, “But if you don’t know what you’re building, how do you know what steps to take?”
It’s been my question, as well. And re-enforced by the half-dozen coaches I’ve hired over those 6 years.
The answer is Faith. Trust. Partnership.
When you live your life by Spirit, it is a relationship of daily cooperation. You ask, as you go, “show me the next step”.
And when you learn to listen to your Higher Consciousness, it truly becomes conversational. Interactive, immediate and identified by its resonance.
As one of my spiritual teachers says, “The truth has a ring to it”. The more you practice living by Higher Consciousness, the more familiar that ring becomes.
To me, there is a palpable, physical sensation I recognize when I’m channeling HC. That has been discovered by experience, over time.
When you are plugged in to this Divine Guidance, the pressure is off. You let go of the need to know, and supplant that with an excitement to discover.
I have no idea where I’m rowing or what will await me there. Perhaps I can’t picture it or plan for it because I’ve never witnessed it before.
There is no map to undiscovered islands until they have been discovered.
So I row by faith, checking my Inner Divinity every day for guidance.
I plug in to limitless Superconscious, enthusiastically expectant for a path beyond my own reasoning.